a guy walks into a country pub, bruised, bleeding, and his clothes disheveled.

"A leopard just ran up behind me, and pushed me over hard! A leopard! And then it seemed to regret what it had done, and ran away!"

The bartender seemed perfectly unsurprised.

"Aye. Ye just met Father Smith. No kinder more caring pastor was there ever. But ya see, he found a lamp with a genie. He asked that he might always be a loving shepherd for this village.

But he was bad about speaking in Spoonerisms..."

Actually pretty funny

HA!

Reminds of the story of Bleeping Sooty that some comedian or the other told many years ago.

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Ele era velho.
Ele era corajoso.
Ele era feio.

Pretty sure you're talking about Archie Campbell on "Hee Haw".

My father loved the show, so naturally I hated it, and was (obnoxiously) vocal about that. But secretly I thought the Archie Campbell routines were hilarious.

The one which sticks out in my mind is the "Pee Little Thrigs"..."I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll how your blouse down".

Just looked him up. Died in 1987. Been a long time back.

.

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Ele era velho.
Ele era corajoso.
Ele era feio.