Email From a friend

by JimT, Texas, Thursday, June 30, 2022, 22:28 (877 days ago)

He sent this earlier this evening:

3:30 am Saturday, I woke up needing to go to the bathroom because I’m 52. Upon entering the bathroom, I was greeted by a juvenile rabbit about the size of a large rat.

One of my cats was right next to it, so I quickly surmised that the cat must have brought the rabbit in through the doggy door. The rabbit appeared unharmed.

I still have to pee. The rabbit situation will have to be sorted out after that.

It is at this moment I notice that 2 of my dogs have now joined me in the bathroom, because whatever I’m doing is always the most fascinating thing ever to my dogs.

So now I’m standing in a somewhat vulnerable position when an absolute melee breaks out in my bathroom at 3:30 in the morning. The cat is trying to pick up the rabbit - the rabbit is FAST and runs toward me, which makes both dogs sprint towards me in their effort to capture this animal. The cat jumps STRAIGHT up in the air at least a foot and literally lands on the back of one of the dogs, which made that animal freak out worse.

I’m still trying to pee without creating a Hazmat situation.

I now have a scurrying rabbit at my feet using me as some kind of a attempted barrier, but this fact did not dissuade my dogs at all. They both went RIGHT at my feet, and they weigh a combined 130lbs.

I’m now on the floor with a rabbit, a cat and 2 dogs and I’m not done peeing.

I finally yell to my more obedient mutt to “take it outside!,” and he compliantly gets the rabbit into his mouth, but he has a bad hip, and I know he can’t jump through the doggy door to get outside, so I scramble to my feet to let him out. With rabbit in mouth, he is followed by the cat and the other big dog and now the little dog has decided to join them. Just this murderous parade of animals joyously exiting the house on their way to an execution.

I follow them all outside, because I really didn’t want to wake up to a dismembered rabbit in my kitchen, and the dog with the rabbit sets the rabbit down.

Rabbit makes a beeline for the fence and goes under it as I watch 2 of my dogs concuss themselves trying to follow the rabbit under the fence at mach 2.

My wife never moved.

I finished peeing outside.