That when I was on porn sites they had hacked, that they had recorded me through both laptop and desktop cameras, and unless I paid up, they were going to send the movies starring me to everyone on my email list.

It was very frightening until I recalled I did not do porn, did not own a desktop, and did not own a laptop, much less, cameras attached to them. Then, I either, a) laughed, or, b) asked for my money back.