A man wakes up early one morning to go ice fishing. He dresses warmly,
heads out onto the ice with his tent, his ice auger, his fishing rods, and
his sittin’ bucket, and begins to auger a hole in the ice.

After a few seconds drilling, a LOUD, booming voice from above intones,
“THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!”

Startled, the man looks around, but sees no one, and resumes 'operations'...

Again, the voice thunders, “THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE HERE!”

Disoriented but undeterred, the man packs up his gear, moves about
twenty paces North-by-Northwest, and begins augering anew...

“THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE THERE, EITHER!”

Finally, the man looks upwards and says, “God, is that You?”

“NO, IT’S THE OWNER OF THE HOCKEY RINK!!!”

--

Regular use of Minnesota Anti-freeze has been known to cause such disorientation. A case of Dark Grain Belt Beer and a bottle of Peppermint Schnapps are pretty much SOP for snowmobiling [how you got to the lake], fishing [the cover story for going to the lake] and the telling of extensive all-night entertaining lies [the real reason for being at the lake].

A diner breakfast of massive amounts of fried food and a gallon of coffee strong enough to dissolve anything but ceramic mugs, will have him headed up Nort' in no time at all.