http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2012/12/15/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother

In 2008, shortly before my retirment, I got a call to go to the hospital to visit with a member of my church. The lady was one of my favorite people. She had married a man with three children all of which were challenged in one way or another. The youngest son had what was then called Aspbergers. She quite her job as a public school music teacher and dedicated her life to providing a good home for these three children. She was one of the most dedicated, loving and giving parents I have ever known.

I first met the boy when he was 12. He had the obvious issues that go with austism in it's various forms. As he grew into puberty and size, his temper and agression came out in ways she had not seen it before. He became uncontrolable. He could not accept not having his way in anything. All attempts to place limitations on his behaviour were met with agression. At the time of the hospital visit, he was 17.

At the hospitial, I visited with Janice who had taken a bad beating from the boy. We had a number of visits and discussions over the issue. The father chose the road of denial and pretended there was no problem.

I left in June of 2008 and next year that was an even more violent beating. She had to place him in a group home for young people with the same issues, as they could no longer have him in the home with them.

If ever a woman gave her all to try and love a troubled and emotionaly disable son, it was her, but in the end all the love and devotion could not win over the illness.

The little sociopath had already attacked her with a knife. Came at her full bore with a pointy broken broom handle. I was there to intervene that time. She and her brood floated off to another state. She always made excuses for him. I thought at the time he's going to kill somebody some day.

I have known families just like that. It is a real tragedy, and while many ill people never exhibit violence, many certainly do. Rages, tantrums, inability to have empathy etc. can have such a destructive effect on a family. My hat is off to any parent who has to deal with an issue like that.

. . . not prone to violence.

This kid was not properly diagnosed.

A diagnosis is just a label some body puts on somebody else. Sometimes they don't get it on straight.

It is also possible to meet the diagnostic criteria for more than one illness. You can be more than one thing in other words. Sometimes a kid will pick up a diagnosis early on and subsequent folks will just stick with it. Other issues will crop up (especially in early adulthood) and will be incorrectly attributed to the illness already known instead of being thought of as signs of something else rearing it's head.

adopted two boys and discovered afterwards that the one was SERIOUSLY disturbed. That one is in a facility. The other was deemed well enough to remain with them but they acted as if there was something seriously wrong with him although I never saw that. Seems like a nice, talented kid. The mom/daughter had cancer and recently passed away. Now the dad is dealing with all this on his own.

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Sincerely,

Hobie