There are times...

by anachronism, Thursday, June 07, 2012, 18:46 (4341 days ago) @ Hoot

A few years ago, I had the occasion to be in a stop & rob on the wrong side of Omaha. I was in a foul mood at the time. I had just driven up from Lincoln at night, and wasn't happy about it. Anyway, so I'm in the checkout line, and this rail thin black (ahem) gentleman came in, obviously stoned out of his mind. He starts sizing everybody in the place up, with a goofy smile on his face. He looks at the people, then looks at the door, then looks at the cashier, and his smile gets bigger, it looked to me like we were about to get robbed. Then he made eye contact with me. I was giving him my most congenial "mess with me, and I'll rip out your heart, and roast it on a stick, then eat it" look. He stopped dead still, then stammered to the cashier, "where's your phone"? I continued to gaze lovingly at him, and he ran out the door, into the night. I guess I need to brush up on my benevolent idiot face. I lose more puddytats that way...